It Came From Ebay

It was back in high school- in the days when I still had a Live Journal- that I was introduced to some of the horrors and what the fuckery that can be found on Ebay.  Now it's my turn to go forth and bring back some of my most head scratch inducing finds.

Let's start with this.... squirrel?  It claims to be a squirrel, but it looks more like some kind of owl/rabbit mutant hybrid to me. http://cgi.ebay.com/Double-Side-Cartoon-Squirrel-Shape-Phone-Strap-X-Stitch-/370495985170?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5643481612#ht_2573wt_1139  The listing also suggests this project is suitable for those above the age of five.  I'm going to guess that unless your 6 year old has a cell phone (and really? Does a 6 year old need a cell phone?) they aren't going to want to do this project anyway- assuming they could even sit still long enough.

Whoa geeze!  Ok, so this is official Disney merchandise, but really?  Not a side of Tink I wanted to see.
http://cgi.ebay.com/Disney-Pin-WDW-Morning-Tinker-Bell-Holding-Cup-Coffee-/110663891150?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19c414f8ce#ht_3213wt_905

Hahaha! What in the world?  That is a hilarious looking Erik.
http://cgi.ebay.com/PHANTOM-OPERA-PROMO-TOY-HARMONICA-JACK-THEBOX-/150578613987?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item230f2f4ee3#ht_1426wt_1139     " THE TOY IS MINT OUT OF THE PACKAGE. AS AN ADDED BONUS, I'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE BEAUTIFUL PAPER BAG THIS TOY CAME WITH." - from the description.  Um...the beautiful paper bag is a bonus?  What?

Thanks for signing right over you bosoms Emmy!  http://cgi.ebay.com/Phantom-Opera-8x10-photo-signed-2-rp-SEXY-NEW-/280649039013?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4157fc7ca5#ht_3029wt_1139

Can you get any blander than this?  Really, why would I want this when I can have the previously posted silly Erik up there?

http://cgi.ebay.com/PHANTOM-OPERA-San-Francisco-Music-Box-Stage-Base-/190508792773?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2c5b357bc5#ht_2706wt_905

Note that this person is doing something that you too can do with a printer and sticker/glossy paper and glue. I just need to know why? Why? 

http://cgi.ebay.com/Disney-Princess-Birthday-Invitation-Favors-Water-Candy-/220756205192?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3366185e88#ht_15339wt_1139

Mulan's comb, but no Mulan?  And really, with that much glitter, are they cake safe?  Also, disturbingly enough, a lot of the paint is missing from one side of Belle's face.  That's a little more than "gently used" I'd say. 

http://cgi.ebay.com/Disney-Princess-Cake-Topper-Hard-PVC-/160560623286?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item256228aeb6#ht_1087wt_1139

And finally...

 Where the hell did these come from? There's no freaking way these are official pins.  Who made them?  Why are their sexy nurse uniforms actually just their regular dresses (Ariel's being her wedding dress actually)?  Are this modifications to official merchandise? I'll never know, because the description doesn't explain.
http://cgi.ebay.com/DISNEY-SEXY-PRINCESS-ARIEL-BELLE-RED-CROSS-NURSE-PINS-/110663130210?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19c4095c62#ht_1954wt_1139


Next time I do this, I will try to find much worse things.  Beware.